He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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