he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
