Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
