I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
you would pick up someone in the library
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
