Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
