Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
