its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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