Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
You can't just leave with hair like that
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
