I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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