Are we in a gay sports bar?
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
