my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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