the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
