i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I enjoy the company of your penis
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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