We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
just found out that she named her cat after me.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
