i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Randomize
