i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
