Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
