She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
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