There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
