Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
