So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
