This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
