"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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