i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
