I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
