I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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