Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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