Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
