I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
