tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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