Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
