Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
