..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
