We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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