It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
