Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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