I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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