My balls are so social today.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
