Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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