What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
