I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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