Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
My bed smells like the plague
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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