Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
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