Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
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