we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
