Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
