just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
