Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
