some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
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