Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
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