He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
