the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
