The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
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