May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
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