you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
