Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
