Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
