Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Randomize
