shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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