Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
