Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Randomize