i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Found the puke drawer
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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