Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
